I'm just sayin' ...

"I think people like that should be sterilized."

"It's not like I look awesome everyday, but I know mule pumps are so 8th grade."

"And that right there, friend, is why I disabled the texting function on my wireless plan. PICK UP THE GOSH DARN PHONE!"

"I'm just not that kind of girl. It's not a handlebar."

"I slept for like 15 hours, what am I? A newborn?"

"Trust me, if his kissing technique was any different, this night might have ended a lot differently for me."

"Its never the true shopping cart unless you have options..."

"WHO would be jealous?"
"Everyone who's NOT us."

"She just thinks you're a little more Jenna Jameson than Mary Poppins."

"Hello dear person who operates the bull, here is $15 bucks... Please make sure my friend looks hot."

"My feet are swollen like a fat girl."
"Maybe you're pregnant."
"No, I'm on the ring."

"Have you seen my elbow scar?"
"No guy will have you, you are damaged goods."
"So, I'm like a suitcase without a handle?"

"It should be mandatory that people drink your sweet tea."

"You are that Southern guy who makes me not like the South."

"I'm pretty sure if I had five more minutes I could have gotten a proposal out of that guy."