I'm just sayin' ...

"He's got some steel ones, that's for sure."

"Whaaat? That's funny. I'M FUNNY!"

"Don't you have to have a weapon to be charged with battery?"
"No, I think you just have to have a battery."

"It's like Pompeii out here."

"I think I'm getting carsick."
"You get carsick? SO, can you read in a car?"
"No, I could when I was a kid."
"Well, maybe you should learn braille, then you could read in the car."

In regards to this ridiculous product ...
"Truly. One can think of so many events where this is appropriate. Of course, most of the time when I have needed to pee so badly that I would've gladly resorted to using this device, I was intoxicated and really, I'm thinking the best place to pee when drunk is on the nice safe dirty toilet. Question: If I need to puke, is this useful?...just wondering. " 


"it is 'made of a firm and reliable material' (which is ???) that essentially looks like two stadium hot dog holders (the prototypes?) and has the graphics that one would expect to see on her favorite brand of pantyliner! Sadly, I am totally intriqued and by the end of the day I may be expecting my package of 5 by the end of the week."

"Everyone else has Wheaties, but the Southern Girl's breakfast of champions is cheese grits." -Britney Spear's Dad


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