I'm just sayin' ...

"God's creatures are not to be used as weapons."

"I don't have any finances to plan. I mean, how do you diversify $20?"

"I was dressed up as a hot dog, and boy was that costume highly flammable."
"What did you try to do, grill yourself?"

"He's wearing cargo pants. It looks like he cut his hair with a flowbie."
"It looks like he highlighted his own hair ... with a cap!"

"You can't love something that doesn't love you back."
"Yes you can ... I love pie."

"No problem! I'm here for your flakiness."

"Which pisses me off because I don't have a hot swedish wife."

"I'm mentally throwing tomatoes at you both right now….SPLAT! just hit Molly in the forehead…"

"I feel like I sacrificed myself for the greater good of man today... you are both welcome."


Popular Posts