"I don't have any finances to plan. I mean, how do you diversify $20?"
"I was dressed up as a hot dog, and boy was that costume highly flammable."
"What did you try to do, grill yourself?"
"He's wearing cargo pants. It looks like he cut his hair with a flowbie."
"It looks like he highlighted his own hair ... with a cap!"
"You can't love something that doesn't love you back."
"Yes you can ... I love pie."
"No problem! I'm here for your flakiness."
"Which pisses me off because I don't have a hot swedish wife."
"I'm mentally throwing tomatoes at you both right now….SPLAT! just hit Molly in the forehead…"
"I feel like I sacrificed myself for the greater good of man today... you are both welcome."