Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm Just Sayin'... May/June 2010

Quite possibly the most-talked about bit on SwankyPeach, "I'm Just Sayin' " as it almost always entertains. Alright ya'll — we're gonna start making this fun— Leave a comment below with your favorite IJS quote and I'll pick a winner for a surprise prize... and whoever said the fave quote of the commenter that wins gets a prize too. Got it? Annnnd go...

“I'm on the way to get a pedicure with a half bottle of champagne in hand. Well, not the bottle literally — I put in a Starbucks coffee to-go cup. Why do I feel like a closet alcoholic all of a sudden?”

“I love a good beach tan. For starters it means I've been at the beach.”

"Me and Kelsey found you a cute boy. Anthony, an MBA from U.N.C. That's all you need to know."

"Some rent-a-cop on a bike tried to take my wine. He clearly doesn't know who he's messing with."

"Three white girls rapping? I couldn't think of a better form of entertainment."

“She told me you had an infection. Is that better?”

"I get distracted by this good looking guy I always see in Starbucks."

“Have you talked to him or do you just stalk him from afar?”

“I had a conversation with [name redacted] about sex that ended with me saying, 'Well you get what you get. Don't pitch a fit.' "


“I need a new pillow.”
“You need a more firm pillow?”
“Well, I need a more firm a lot of things.”

“I just have a huge affinity for hot dogs. I could eat them every day.”

“What was in that shot?”
“Orange vodka, pineapple, a shot of Sprite and peach schnapps.”
“That's Sprite is gonna get me later.”
“The Sprite?”

"I'm a single guy who lives with his brother, sister-in-law, a niece and two nephews. You win."


“You know what's funny?”
“That that only took two seconds.”

“Something with wings just touched me. Big wings.”
“Well, it wasn't a pelican.”

“I'm gonna regret that.”

“I know me sitting like this looks gross but I'm not getting any sun between my legs so I have to.”

“Let's face it - your connection to booty is through me.”

“Talk about loose screws? I might have a few but he has a lot!”

“All I know is I had chocolate covered bacon.”
“I had chocolate covered life.”

“Let me get a little more drunk.”

“Don't you have Catholics in the States?”
“Yeah but they're not that Catholic.”

“Anything goes in the Big Apple, baby. Just trying to avoid big wind gusts on the subway...”

“I love being pimped, especially when you're the p-i-m-p in question.”

"Some people like Facebook, others like fireworks.”

“If you just took your pants off then you'd fit right in.”

“I'm trying to become more domestic in case anyone wants to marry me or so I can feed my children one day.”

“What is that in my pants?”
“Oh that's a fun game.”

"My doctor graduated from U.N.C. med school the year I was born."
“So you're saying she's seen a lot of ‘kitties.’ ”

“Are you blogging about me? 'Cause people would read it. I am Googleable.”

“No ma’am. I'm as single as the number one.”

8 comments:

  1. Oooooohhhh! A contest! I'm going with the "Closet Alcoholic". Although I do see one of mine on here, I think voting for my own IJS contribution would be tacky. Like if I voted for myself for homecoming queen. Not that I was ever given that opportunity or anything! Just sayin'. Love ya, Swanky!

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  2. “I love a good beach tan. For starters it means I've been at the beach.”

    And..."ditto"

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  3. “Are you blogging about me? 'Cause people would read it. I am Googleable.”

    Honestly, they are all so funny! Yay for contests!

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  4. “Are you blogging about me? 'Cause people would read it. I am Googleable.”

    Honestly, I think they are all so funny.
    :)

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  5. Def this one: Do I know this person..if not, I want to as we will surely be fast bff's :-)

    “I'm on the way to get a pedicure with a half bottle of champagne in hand. Well, not the bottle literally — I put in a Starbucks coffee to-go cup. Why do I feel like a closet alcoholic all of a sudden?”

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  6. I know who said the first one because I heard it. Does that count?

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  7. Do you have the number of a good pest control company? There's a spider bikini out of control.

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  8. Cort is sooooo hilarious isn't she ;o)

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